Fateful is how Sarah McLachlan describes the night of her first performance as a member of a high school rock band. On that night, she fell in love with the joy of making music for a happy, appreciative audience.

Mark Jowatt, soon to be head of Artists and Repertoire for Nettwerk Records, fell in love with young Sarah's voice. She declined his offer to travel to Vancouver to record a demo, deciding (at her mum's insistance) to complete high-school and pursue her dreams of attending art school; but Sarah had made a lasting impression.

Two years later, Nettwerk offered a five-record contract and at the age of 19, she recorded her first album, Touch. Her second album, Solace, came in 1991. The rest is now pop music legend. The unassuming and starry-eyed girl from Canada created the Lilith Fair Tour, contributed songs to multiple movie soundtracks, added her familiar voice to albums by Delerium, and became one of the most beloved and influential songwriters of the modern era,

This is Sarah's interview with Dark Romance publisher John Koenig.

Sarah: Well, that whole album was about losing control; by learning so much control that I could completely lose myself and not be afraid. A lot of the time making the record was spent talking about the head-space that we were in and discussing ideas and just trying to be really strong and happy. When something was bothering us, we'd work through that before we started writing or recording, because we recorded everything basically, whatever came out.

Often the first things that come out are the things that end up on a record, whether it's the first try at electric guitar or first piano take or first vocal take. In many instances, it's the first dummy track. So it's a real learning process for me to let go of editing myself, to let go of pre-thinking what I was doing, or listening to something for the wrong reasons versus the right reasons, and questioning that. So for that, there were a lot of mistakes that were made, but the mistakes were what made it great.

You know, I wasn't being a perfectionist anymore. I think a lot of art is done that way. In photography or whatever... you did the wrong film stop or whatever and the most beautiful picture in the world comes out of that mistake that you thought would be a total disaster.

And your songs are so confident. The songs are very conversational, as though you were talking to a friend or writing a letter.

Sarah: Well, they're definitely strong conversations with myself. I think the albums have progressed in the sense that I''ve gotten to know myself a lot better. I think the songs therefore will become stronger, because the songs are me. The songs are about me trying to figure out myself to a large degree. Even if it''s putting myself into someone else's shoes to portray a character, if I''m talking about a situation completely outside of myself, it''s how do I see this emotionally or how does this affect me. Am I saying something really tragic or funny or whatever. You relate everything to your own life first and foremost and then as you''re dissecting it, you''re trying to figure it out and relate it to your own past knowledge and understanding or lack of understanding.

You ended the album Solace with Wear Your Love Like Heaven. It's such a bright, uplifting, uncharacteristic note.

Sarah: Yeah, that wasn't my idea.

Really?

Sarah: Yeah, I recorded it for another reason altogether as part of a Donovan compilation, but my record company thought the album needed something hopeful. Actually, putting it on the end of the record was my idea. The record label wanted it somewhere smack in the middle of the record. (laughs) So we compromised and I put it at the end. But I don't think it makes much sense on the record personally.

It does stand apart in a way.

Sarah: Yeah, I didn't like it for that reason, but that's just my own personal thing of wanting the record to be "this is what it is." Yeah, it's depressing, a lot of it, but that's ok.

Perhaps your brightest song is 'Ice Cream' on the Fumbling Toward Ecstacy album.

Sarah: Yeah, because Hold On is one of the heaviest in my mind, and I had to counterbalance it by putting Ice Cream in there. I figured, "Ah, I gotta ease up a little there momentarily." (laughs) But even Ice Cream has its pensive chorus. Like, "this is really amazing, but if we fuck it up, there's a lot of hell to pay."

As we're talking, the winter holidays are coming. What is Christmas like in your hometown in Nova Scotia?

Sarah: Cold! (laughs) Hopefully there will be snow.

Can you think of a particularly fond memory at Christmas, either at home or out on the road in an exotic place?

Sarah: Well, I've always managed to go home at Christmas. We have a big, huge park on the ocean and one winter, one of my friends and I went down to the water and built a huge snowwoman. A big fat snowgoddess, and that was really fun. My first female snowperson. (laughs) And she was beautiful, she was huge! She' was about six feet tall and five feet in diameter; a huge thing like a big, big deity. A big icon goddess thing.

I'm not really so much into Christmas, although the older I get the more I'm starting to enjoy it again. It's just so fuckin' commercialized. You know, everybody's uptight because they don't really want to buy presents for everybody but they have to because it's Christmas... I hate all that bullshit. I buy presents for people when I see something I like, and I give it to them when I get it. People don't get presents on their birthdays, they get them when I buy them. Or I make something, which is even better.

But, I'm starting to enjoy it more and one of the nicest things is getting to see my family and all my old friends, because they come back to Halifax. We manage to reunite at Christmas, so for that it's quite nice. I guess I'm getting older and I'm getting more nostalgic about it. About friends, about keeping connections.