THE room was cloudy with a
poisonous incense: saffron,
opoponax, galbanum,
musk, and myrrh, the purity
of the last ingredient a curse
of blasphemy, the
final sneer; as a degenerate
might insult a Raphael by putting
it in a room
devoted to debauchery.
The
girl was tall and finely built,
huntress-lithe. Her dress, close-
fitted, was of a gold-brown
silk that matched, but could
not rival, the coils
that bound her brow --- glittering
and hissing like snakes.
Her
face was Greek in delicacy;
but what meant such a mouth
in it? The
mouth of a satyr or a devil.
It was full and strong, curved
twice, the edges
upwards, an angry purple, the
lips flat. her smile was like
the snarl of a
wild beast.
She
stood, violin in hand, before
the wall. Against it was a large
tablet
of mosaic; many squares and
many colours. On the squares
were letters in an
unknown tongue.
She
began to play, her gray eyes
fixed upon one square on whose
centre
stood this character, N. It
was in black on white; and the
four sides of the
square were blue, yellow, red,
and black.
She
began to play. The air was low,
sweet, soft, and slow. It seemed
that
she was listening, not to her
own playing, but for some other
sound. Her bow
quickened; the air grew {277}
harsh and wild, irritated; quickened
further to
a rush like flames devouring
a hayrick; softened again to
a dirge.
Each
time she changed the soul of
the song it seemed as if she
was
exhausted: as if she was trying
to sound a particular phrase,
and always fell
back baffled at the last moment.
Nor
did any light infuse her eyes.
There was intentness, there
was
weariness, there was patience,
there was alertness. And the
room was
strangely silent, unsympathetic
to her mood. She was the dimmest
thing in
that gray light. Still she stove.
She grew more tense, her mouth
tightened,
an ugly compression. Her eyes
flashed with --- was it hate?
The soul of the
song was now all anguish, all
pleading, all despair --- ever
reaching to some
unattainable thing.
She
choked, a spasmodic sob. She
stopped playing; she bit her
lips, and a
drop of blood stood on them
scarlet against their angry
purple, like sunset
and storm. She pressed them
to the square, and a smear stained
the white.
She
caught at her heart; for some
strange pang tore it.
Up
went her violin, and the bow
crossed it. It might have been
the swords
of two skilled fencers, both
blind with mortal hate. It might
have been the
bodies of two skilled lovers,
blind with immortal love.
She
tore life and death asunder
on her strings. Up, up soared
the phoenix
of her song; step by step on
music's golden scaling-ladder
she stormed the
citadel of her Desire. The blood
flushed and swelled her face
beneath its
sweat. Her eyes were injected
with blood.
The
song rose, culminated --- overleapt
the barriers, achieved its phrase.
She stopped; but the music went
on. A cloud gathered {278} upon
the great
square, menacing and hideous.
There was a tearing shriek above
the melody.
Before her, his hands upon her
hips, stood a boy. Golden haired
he was,
and red were his young lips,
and blue his eyes. But his body
was ethereal
like a film of dew upon a glass,
or rust clinging to an airy
garment; and all
was stained hideously with black.
"My
Remenu!" she said. "After
so long!"
He
whispered in her ear.
The
light behind her flickered and
went out.
The
spirit laid her violin and bow
upon the ground.
The
music went on --- a panting,
hot melody like mad eagles in
death
struggle with mountain goats,
like serpents caught in jungle
fires, like
scorpions tormented by Arab
girls.
And
in the dark she sobbed and screamed
in unison. She had not expected
this: she had dreamt of love
more passionate, of lust more
fierce-fantastic,
than aught mortal.
And
this?
This
real loss of a real chastity?
This degradation not of the
body, but
of the soul! This white-hot
curling flame --- ice cold about
her heart? This
jagged lightning that tore her?
This tarantula of slime that
crawled up her
spine?
She felt the blood running from
her breasts, and its foam at
her mouth.
Then suddenly the lights flamed
up, and she found herself standing
---
reeling --- her head sagging
on his arm.
Again he whispered in her ear.
In his left hand was a little
ebony box, a dark paste was
in it. He rubbed
a little on her lips.
And yet a third time he whispered
in her ear. {279}
With an angel's smile --- save
for its subtlety --- he was
gone into the
tablet.
She turned, blew on the fire,
that started up friendly, and
threw herself
in an armchair. Idly she strummed
old-fashioned simple tunes.
The door opened.
A jolly lad came in and shook
the snow from his furs.
"Been too bored, little
girl?" he said cheerily,
confident.
"No, dear!" she said.
"I've been fiddling a bit."
"Give me a kiss, Lily!"
He bent down and put his lips
to hers; then, as if struck
by lightning,
sprawled, a corpse.
She looked down lazily through
half-shut eyes whit that smile
of hers that
was a snarl.
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